Day one
Hola and welcome to day one of Lauren and Ali’s Cyprus adventure. We’re sat on the plane, a good few thousand feet in there, Lauren is having a kip…so what better time to start my diary!
So our trip began approximately seven and a half hours ago when I arrived at chez Hebbo – extremely heavy suitcase in tow! Driving up Rose Hill I was promptly greeted by Papa Hebbo who gave the usual pre holiday safety lecture… Surprisingly this one didn’t include his traditional running warnings but instead focused on the dangers of Cyprus waters – They have strong currents don’t you know?
Warning out the way I had a quick chat with mum about her rug dramas – I kinda switched off but from what I gather there was a mix up with the orders and confusion over the silver and dove colour options, talk about crisis! Thankfully, before long Jean and Marios arrived causing mum to end the chat.
A quick howdy dudey with Jean and Marios later and our taxi arrived. Lauren, Sam and I trundled in and set sail for Havant train station. On our journey we discussed what we had been up to on the previous day – much to the taxi driver’s delight. He found it quite humorous when I was talking about my body jam class and how it made me v sad that I had never had ballet classes as a child because I think I could have been quite good. Sam then said this was possibly the most middle class statement ever!
The taxi driver wasn’t all bad though as he did help carry our suitcases and Lauren said she thought he was v gentlemenly when he held the door open for her…
Safely dropped off a we bought our tickets using the self service (with a lil assistance from Sam) before Sam got a coffee and Lauren treated herself to a hot chocolate – which she enjoyed although sadly it did burn her tongue!
After a short wait, our train arrived and Lauren and Sam shared their tearful goodbyes whilst I stood looking awkward. On the train we were lucky to get a seat straight away courtesy of a sweet boy who was getting off at the next stop. We weren’t so lucky however with the smell we had to endure courtesy of the sweaty boy Sat in front – ew!
Thankfully, the train ride was v quick, as was check in so we had plenty of time to look around the airport shops. In Kurt Geiger I did my Heat style ‘crap celeb spot of the week’ noticing Truder off of 1990’s favourite Vets in Practice trying on some boots. Pointing this out to Lauren she said in her typically Lauren way… she must be rich, she wasn’t a v good vet and is that man her husband?
Celeb spotting done, we mosied round a few more shops before going to Spoons for some much. Here Lauren ordered her first drink of the holiday for which we were both id-d by the cocky barman who despite obviously balding said he was younger than us – must have had a LONG paper round…
Chow down, Lauren got a Pret a Mange brownie before we made our way to the gate. Within mere moments of sitting down it was time to get on the plane. Here we sent a few last minute texts, took the obligatory plane photo and checked our Facebook before flying on our merry way!
Lauren is well and truly in the land of zog now and I think I might join her so until next time xxx
Day two
Hello you and welcome to day two…well last time we spoke I was up up and away on a not so beautiful aeroplane about to join Lauren for a nap. Unfortunately, I was unable to sleep thanks to the noisy lil kids who were entertaining themselves by running back and forth down the aeroplane aisle- grr!
Thankfully, Lauren soon woke up allowing me to entertain myself by asking her lots of interesting questions, such as…. Who is prettier x or x, give me some bitchy views on x, what would you do if x etc etc
Question fun out the way, it wasn’t long before we landed and we faced the usual holidays panic of finding our suitcases… Here we were standing at the luggage carousel for just that bit too long and despite me trying to fill the time by commenting on all the different colour suitcases, then the different sizes and even coming up with my own Mr suitcase song! Lauren’s patience was beginning to wane.
Luckily, just before pure melt down our suitcases appeared- few! Our transfer lady who guided us to our bus then greeted us. A rather scary horror film style esque journey through the Cyprus hills later we were safely at our hotel- again few!
We then had the job of carrying my stupidly heavy suitcase up to our hotel room- those extra outfits seemed like a good idea at the time! In the room Lauren had a little wobble because she was bored so we headed back to reception where she soon perked up after talking to Sam on whatsapp. Sadly they faced their second tearful goodbye of the day as at 1am we were told reception was closed and we had to go back to our rooms. However, by this point we were both v sleepy and back at the room we were both in the land of zog!
Round about 10 hours we finally surfaced and after a quick spit wash we started our quest for Lidl. Still slightly sleepy we of course got lost but we finally found our way when we spotted two pasty looking tourists to follow who too were going in Lidl.
Once in the land of dreams we got some much needed supplies before heading back to the hotel, when of course we got lost again! Fingers crossed when we go out next time we will be a little luckier- I’m not holding my breath!
We’re now at the pool and Lauren is having another kip, so I think I will have a read of some of her mags before joining her. Adios xxx
Day three
Yippee and we’re on to day three! Oky dokey so what’s been going down. Well after I last spoke to you annoyingly I couldn’t sleep again! However, I kept myself amused with Lauren’s Take a Break, featuring stories such as ‘I caught the bride with my fella’, ‘Was I pregnant with my boss’ baby’ and my favorite ‘Ouch my groom got battered at the wedding’ which was basically the tale of a guy who got drunk at his wedding and fell over.
Take a break well and truly read, me and Lauren felt we’d had enough sun so went to the ‘relaxation room’ to use the Wi-Fi and just generally relaxing. Whilst relaxing, Lauren caught the eye of the hotel handyman (Akichee, I think his name was) who kept smiling at her.
Feeling quite bashful Lauren decided it was about time we went back to the room. I agreed but said we should go to reception first to ask about our tv – which up until this point hadn’t been working. The receptionist then sent… Yep you’ve guessed it, the lovely Akichee up to our room- much to my delight and Lauren’s awkwardness lol!
In the room Akichee continued to flirt with Lauren saying she looked v beautiful, Polish and only 20. Me on the other hand apparently looked ALOT older and like I’d had a hard life without enough love! – Spose he was right there!
Anyhow, pervy flirting out the way, young Akichee did manage to fix the TV and found us an English music channel to boogie to.
I then had a much needed shower before a manicure from Lauren and some equally needed beautifying. Prettied up and hopefully looking like my life had been slightly more love filled, we headed down to the hotel bar where Lauren tried the local vodka.
Before she was feeling too tiddly, we made our way to the promenade for dinner where we stumbled upon a rather posh looking Italian-they pulled your seats out for you and everything!
Here, I had this random chicken tomato pesto thing, while Lauren had some of the chef’s complimentary cheesy balls (hello!) followed by the lamb shank. The waiter then cane round with the dessert menu where I managed to avert a near disaster. This is because Lauren chocolate and strawberry icecream making quite clear she wanted chocolate sauce too. Well the waiter obviously didn’t think was clear enough as when her icecream came there was no sauce in sight! Seeing Lauren’s cute little face drop, I quickly alerted the mat idée who swiftly brought Lauren her own bowl if choc sauce with its own lil spoon – few!
After dinner, we returned home for some more Wi-Fi action before going back to the room to watch the random TV. This included the end of Harry Potter and the cheesiest but strangely watchable American series, Private Practice which as the name suggests was about some doctors with questionable private lives!
It was then time for bed and after I reassured Lauren Akichee wasn’t hiding under the bed, we both fell straight to sleep. I then rose early for a nice run, where I listened to the best of Cyprus radio, bringing back fond memories of Eurovision.
On my run I also saw lots of signs for a dog Open day which I thought looked quite fun. So, when I got back Lauren and I quickly munched some breakfast, before hunting for the centre. This, despite the many many MANY signs was a lot harder than it made out. And it wasn’t till we walked a good few miles and
got directions from some not so good pervs that we finally found it.
Sadly, our stay at the centre wasn’t so long as after all that Lauren didn’t really like the dogs because they looked mangey! So off we trundled back to our hotel room – making a quick Lidl stop en-route to get some conditioner, Turkey ham, shower gel and this random fruit I don’t know what it is but tastes good.
We’re now back at the room, Lauren is munching on a kitKat and I think I might join her before heading to the pool.
Aurevoir xxx
Day four
Want some more? Well we’re on to day four!
Ok so after my last entry me and Lauren trotted down to the pool, where I finally fell asleep! However, I fell asleep for so long that when I awoke there was no Laurenbob beside me – seriously it was like a scene from the Vanishing!
Luckily, when I became orientated I realised she’d gone to the relaxation room to whatsapp Sam. Crisis over, I decided to start reading some of the book Gina lent me which was okay but like the last few books Gina has lent me it did feel slightly like a cheap Wevil wears Prada – I’m going to stick with it though.
Book read, I headed back to the room for a shower before Lauren joined me after being perused by Akichee in the relaxation room. She didn’t join me in the shower btw -We’re not that close! But to watch this v mushy American film called, Heart for a Hero, about a boy who wanted to become a go kart champion or something for his dead Dad…
Close to vomiting, we then switched over to the music channel and began our usual prettifying process. Hair straightened and makeup on, we returned to the hotel bar where Lauren indulged again in the house vodka.
Sipping our drinks, it wasn’t long before Lauren caught the eye of another suitor. This time it was a New Zealand guy, who made a crap joke about being a pyromaniac, made even more crap when he then went on to say about a million times how he wasn’t actually and we shouldn’t be scared – he really needs to work on his techniques!
A few more sips of the drink and we were greeted by the next holiday perv. This one was considerably older, drunker and Irisher! Luckily, his wife soon pulled away but just when we thought we were in the safe zone who reappears… Yup you’ve guessed it Achickee! This cued our exit and hunt for grub!
After not too much deliberation we settled on a rather cute looking almost kitchen style restaurant. I ordered the pork and Lauren ordered the chicken – sadly both were sold out so we both ended up getting sword fish- as you do!
This was v tasty and meaty, going down very nicely!
A romantic stroll home later, we went back to the relaxation room for some Wi-Fi wanderings. I then made the mistake of returning to the room and leaving Lauren unsupervised in the relaxation room because as soon as I left guess who popped up…? Yup Achickee! This time however he became slightly more forward with his advances, kissing Lauren’s hand, telling her how he’d been thinking about her last night AND even inviting her to her room!- all despite the fact Lauren told him on numerous occasions she had a boyfriend – some people just don’t take the hint!
When she finally shook him off and got back to the room we watched the end of Escape to Alcatraz together, a bit of Private Practice (which is getting strangely addictive now!) before making our way to Bedfordshire.
I then rose early to go for another run where I was quite shocked to see a load of random dogs walking together – I felt like I was in Lady and the Tramp! Managing to evade the rabies dangers I came back to the room for a bit of brekkie.
Lauren and I then headed down to the promenade to get the bus to Coral Bay. Unlike, our many previous bus journeys on holidays -which almost always ended in some form of disaster- this couldn’t have been smoother! We didn’t have to wait at all, it took us straight where we wanted to go…there was even good tunes to listen to!
Arriving at Coral Bay we found a v cute beach, enjoyed a leisurely kip and had a refreshing paddle. Neither of us went swimming, however as forwarned by Papa Hebbo.
The journey home was just as pleasant and after a quick trip to Lidl for supplies, we headed back to our room. Annoyingly, though today this was being cleaned later than usual so we had to fill our time with some WiFi action – luckily as you’ve probably guessed by now this isn’t too much of a hardship for Lauren.
Our room is now clean and Lauren is having a munch so I think I might join her before we go back to the pool.
Ciao for now xxx
Day five
Well it’s day five and we’re still alive!
So what’s been going down since my last entry…well shortly after writing in you Lauren and I skipped down to the pool all set for some lazing. Unfortunately, on arrival we saw that all the sun beds in the sun were either taken or EXTREMELY annoyingly covered in towels – against the pool rules might I add! Not wanting to lie in the shade we decided to wait at the table until a bed came free.
When 15 mins passed and no bed had surfaced, I began to lose my patience, so in a very Simon from the Inbetweeners style, I marched to reception to alert them of the illegal sun bed behavior. Sadly, the receptionist either didn’t understand me or didn’t really care as she simply pointed at the sun beds in the shade and patronisingly called me sweet heart-the cheek!
Anyways, in the end all was well as we managed to move some beds into the sun – but as I’m sure you can imagine that’s not the point! After some nice lounging! I returned to the room for a shower bumping into Achickee on route. Unimpressed with his behaviour last night towards Lauren I warned him off, telling him about her BIG jealous boyfriend who doesn’t like her talking to anyone else. He then said what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, so I said no he’s REALLY jealous. Achickee then looked disappointed for a moment before saying what about you? To which I offendidly replied, I don’t want to be my sister’s cast offs! He didn’t understand and said come on…and I said no I have a boyfriend and just when I thought he couldn’t offend me anymore he simply laughed and said you don’t have a boyfriend!- is it that unbelievable lol?!?
Anywho, I think my lil chat worked because when Lauren came back up to the room she said Achickee didn’t bother her.
We then both chilled before getting prettied up. Looking slightly more glam and slightly less sweaty, we decided to mix it up a bit and go to the Irish pub down the road instead of the hotel bar. Here Lauren sampled the vodka as I admired their eclectic book collection which even had a copy of the New Devil Wears Prada that I’ve got my eye on.
Suitably refreshed, we made the short journey to the restaurant next door which although quite quiet, was v nice and Lauren even commented on the ‘nice atmosphere.’ Chow down, we walked home for some Wi-Fi and film action. Tonight’s offering was a v random film with Kevin Costner and the mean mum from the Notebook about anger management – it was actually quite good!
In the morn I went for a run apu returning for some music channel and breakfast fun with Laurenbob. Wanting more sun we then headed down to get the bus back to Coral Bay. This was just as nice as the previous day apart from the lairy bus driver who didn’t want to let me on because I had sandy flip flops – err hello I’d been to the beach!
Bus w***** aside, the journey was pleasurable and a hop skip and a trip to Lidl later, we were back at our hotel, we’re currently lazing on some sun beds which I illegally reserved with some towels – well if you can’t beat them! I’m just about to send Gina and Dan a quick message on the Wi-Fi as we are hoping to meet them tonight!
Tsus! Xxx
Day six
Well it’s day six and time for tricks! So yesterday after we went on our illegally reserved sun beds I read some more of my book before returning to the room for a much needed shower!
I then had lots of fun doing Lauren’s Pick Me Up puzzles – yes I know I’m a geek! Before the nightly prettifying process. All prettied up, we went down to the pool to take some photos. Here of course Lauren caught the eye of Achickee! Luckily, just as he was getting really het up it was time to go meet Gina.
Walking down to Gina’s hotel, it was nice to see how the other half lived. Massive lobby, glittering chandeliers, no Achickees…they had it all! Sitting in the posh lobby it wasn’t long before we saw Gina and Dan’s smiley familiar faces. An excited greeting later, we went to their hotel bar for some pre-meal drinks.
Here, we told of them of our holiday adventures, Achickee and all, while they told us about their eventful travels. Beveraged up, we walked to the restaurant Gina and Dan had been on the previous night. I had chicken klevtiko (or however you spell it) Dan had lamb klevtiko, Lauren had grilled chicken breast, while Gina had some lamb thing.
After the meal, we went home for some Wi-Fi and film action before going to bed. I then rose bright and breezy for…yeah you have guessed it a run! I then came back for my usual brekkie and music channel fix, before we got set for our trip to the Marina – as recommend by Gina and Dan!
This was v nice and well worth the 4 mile walk, filled with art markets, cute lil bars and plenty of pervy waiters for Lauren! Feeling tired from the walk down we decided to get the bus back to our hotel, which is where we are now.
Tonight we are seeing Gina and Dan again and I think the plan is to go clubbing so I’ll love you and leave you because I think I could do with a disco nap. Arivideche! Xx
Day seven
Day seven and it’s nearly the end of holiday heaven 😦
But before we all get too down in the dumps lets catch up on the previous day’s action.
So after our long walk to the Marina, I was v sleepy so I enjoyed a little nap before joining Lauren down at the pool.
Lauren was then v nice and treated me to a rather funky looking pink leopard print manicure. Nails looking cool, I had another read of my book before returning to the room for the evening prettifying preparations.
Both wearing our lbds, Lauren and I staggered down to Gina and Dan’s hotel – carefully trying to avoid twisting our ankles in our holiday heels!
Still in one piece, we then guzzled down a quick drink in the hotel bar before going out on the prowl.
After a short -albeit slightly stumbly- walk, we found a cute restaurant called Kareninas. This was definitely my fave meal of the holiday as the meat was succulent and the salad plentiful. Lauren also enjoyed her lamb klevtiko but Gina and Dan weren’t fussed with their T bones.
Food munched, we were ready for a boogie and wandered down the promenade looking for a cool club… Unfortunately, what we found was a karaoke bar filled with what looked like the cast of Benidorm. We still had a giggle though and with the Natalie measures of vodka, Lauren and Gina were away. However, also thanks to the Natalie measures, it wasn’t long before Lauren and Gina were ready to go home, so we began the hunt for a taxi.
Dan quickly found one which said it would charge us 8 euros which Lauren and I didn’t think was too bad – especially given the shoe situation! Gina wasn’t happy though and said she would only pay 6 euros. The driver then went down to 7 and after a lil arguing, we all trundled into the taxi. Further drama ensued when the driver first didn’t want to drop Gina right by her door and when he didn’t want to make another stop at our hotel.
Thankfully, some how we managed to make it home in one piece. We then enjoyed some WiFi fun before returning to our room where to my delight there was randomly… Wait for it…90210 was on TV!!!!- again I know I’m sad. Then, I don’t know if it was because she was a bit drunk, Lauren got quite into it and was asking me lots of questions, which I think tired us both out so soon after 90210 finished we put ourselves to bed.
In the morn I went for a quick ru…I think you know how this goes now. Lauren and I then had some brekkie before going back to Gina and Dan’s hotel to pick them up for our family trip to Coral Bay! This was lots of fun, as while Dan went off and did boy things in the sea Gina, Lauren and I fulfilled every girl cliche simply sunbathing, talking about clothes and makeup.
All sunned out, we then got the bus home, while Gina stayed on to get Dan some eats. The obligatory Lidl pitstop out the way, Lauren and I then came back to the room. Lauren is now down at the pool so I think I’ll go join her. Adios xxx
Day eight
Day eight the holidays over, it was great but I’m kinda in a state…
So after our last encounter I went down to pool for my daily dose of my book, which I actually finished – the ending was k but nothing to write home (or in a holiday diary rather) about!
I then went back up to the room for another much needed shower. On my travels I bumped into Achickee, who said I had a ‘clean smile’- he’s totally given up on Lauren now so he’s having to resort to the bedraggled looking sis.
All fresh and showered, Lauren and I went back to the Irish pub so I could swap my now finished book for the new Devil Wears Prada and Lauren could get a nice strong voddy!
Book and slightly tipsy Lauren in tow, we made our way back to Karlinas. Here, we were warned there maybe a long wait on account of their Thursday night quiz which boasted a 1000 Euro prize fund! However, I don’t know if they were exaggerating or if me and Lauren just got too distracted taking pics, but there didn’t seem to be much wait at all. Me and Lauren did consider taking part in the quiz but as the memories of Eggheads came flushing back, we thought better of it!
A rather dramaful walk back, featuring fallen police officers and fireworks, we were back at the hotel where of course we went on the WiFi before going back to the room to watch a film. Unfortunately though, the only half decent looking film was Zodiac which was half an hour from the end.
In the morn I went for a run – which is why I am in a state now. You see as I took my usual route down the hill, happily singing along to Dolly Parton 9-5 on my phone – yet again I know I’m sad – I took an unexpected tumble and ended up not only cutting and bruising both my knees, elbow and hand but also totally scratching the back of my two month old phone 😦 Undeterred, I managed to still finish the run, getting many a disturbed look along the way as the blood poured down my leg – nice!
I then returned to the room, where Lauren looked equally disturbed saying my cuts ‘made her stomach feel bad.’ half way through packing I decided I should probably try and get a plaster or something from reception. Painfully, instead of a plaster the receptionist simply said ‘ no plaster, sit!’ and preceded to put what seriously felt like acid on the cuts – my eyes were honestly watering! Surprisingly though, once the initial agony ended it did actually seem to help.
Wounds clean, me and Lauren then finished packing before checking out and getting the bus into town.
Amongst the cheap designer bags a various willy shaped items who did we bump into but Gina and Dan! After explaining my injuries and looking at the random souvenirs they’d bought, we had a wander around the market together before all getting the bus to the Marina together. Gina and Dan then got another bus while me and Lauren enjoyed another mosy around.
A couple hours and a good few more random looks at my cuts later, we headed back to the hotel to soak up some last pool chilling time. Here I started reading some of my new Devil Wears Prada book -which is looking quite promising btw! As Lauren had a cat nap.
We then set off for a final meal at Karlinas, which again was delightful! We’re now back at the hotel waiting for our transfer to pick us up, bringing another happy Hebbo holiday to an end
😦 xxx
sis
alanaburnett 