Sense of sensitivity

If you’d asked me a few months ago whether I’d considered myself a sensitive person or not, I’d probably say not. Not much gets me down and I try and take most things in my stride…fast forward to ten weeks into lockdown when something as simple as a dog on Tiktok can bring me to tears, my answer to that question might be slightly different.

I discovered just how sensitive I was last weekend. This was meant to be when I was celebrating my hen party. I knew it was coming as for some reason I hadn’t deleted the calendar reminder on my phone. I was feeling okay with it, because like the wedding, I knew it was going to get arranged again at some point.

On the Friday, I felt even happier because not only did I get lots of thoughtful messages from my friends and family that were going to be on the hen, I knew I was seeing my mum and cockerpoo Biba! My mum made me feel even more special, treating me to lovely flowers and the day was just all round lovely.

By the time it got to Saturday, the hen couldn’t be further from my mind as Stu and I busily prepared for our first ever BBQ at the house of Burnett.

Everything was going great until whilst shopping for fire lighters in B and M bargains queue, I did think to myself how nice it would be to be at my Bournemouth Hen instead of a boiling car park. But as soon as the diva thought came into my head and I said it to Stu I remembered how he’d cancelled his stag too, so I was being quite insensitive and took it back.

Back at home Stu and I busily prepared for the BBQ ( aka Stu made the salad, sorted the meat, set up the chairs and table and I plaited my hair and found an outfit I wanted to wear) I was really excited and then I got a text. Suddenly I burst into tears and realised just how sensitive I am.

Looking back, the text was so silly and now I know the person that sent it didn’t mean anything and “normal” non lockdown Ali probably could read it and take it in her stride but at the time it felt so painful.

Thankfully, I had Stu to pick me up, put things in perspective and within minutes I was happy Ali again. The BBQ was then a great success and I learnt how sensitive I’d become in a good way. Not with my sense of taste (although his cooking was very good!) but at that same BBQ one of our friends brought me some flowers to make me feel special about the hen party and my best friend made me a special playlist to boost my mood. Later that week after going for a walk with a friend she text me to tell me how much just our conversation had boosted her up through lockdown and despite having watched it for the millionth time, when Stu and I watched Step Brothers, we were crying with laughter. All of which I would have loved in normal life but in this crazy climate, I really felt sensitive to how special these moments were.

So, while we might all be experiencing a new sense of sensitivity, it’s important to remember that this isn’t necessarily a bad thing because with the great lows come the great highs.

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