End of an era

So, this week we all experienced the end of one quite incredible era. Now, despite being a huge royalist and a massive fan of the Queen, I’m not going to write about that (partly because I’m in no way qualified and partly because with the literal wall to wall coverage, I don’t think I could add anything if I tried.)

Instead, I’m going to write about the end of some eras I’ve experienced in this last couple of weeks. The first era that has started to come to an end is my breastfeeding journey with Sienna.

If you’ve read my blog before, you’ll know breastfeeding has been a bit up and down for me. It started at a surprising high, as Sienna took to my boob really easily. The problem came when I tried to take her off and put her on the bottle.

At first I found this a little stressful. The pressure of being the only one who could feed her, unable to be apart from her for more than a few hours and on a really basic (and to many quite superficial) level, unable to wear all the clothes I wanted.

However, as time went on I began to realise that Sienna exclusively breastfeeding wasn’t the prison sentence I had originally thought. Stu and I learned to adapt so I could still have my pockets of freedom when I needed, I got more creative with my clothes to make them breastfeeding friendly and most importantly I realised how wonderful this feeding time I had with Sienna was and to cherish it.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago Sienna turned six months and we began the wonderful (and incredibly messy) weaning era. Following the most idiot proof guide I could find online, day one saw us give her broccoli and day two carrot. On both days the food ended up in her hair, ears, the floor but amazingly barely in her mouth. Then on day three we tried that super exciting food…cauliflower and for the first time I saw Sienna eat a good three tablespoons making me instantly well up. I know it sounds crazy to get so emotional over a cauliflower, but the fact I was able to feed my baby something didn’t come from me was incredible. The next day emotions went to a new level of weird when I got an immense sense of pride seeing carrot in her poo.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know hormones are probably playing a BIG factor in these emotional responses to Sienna’s weaning journey…But, I think it’s also because I know that I’m finally coming to an end to my breastfeeding era and a new generation of both my and Sienna’s independence is in sight.

Another big era that ended this week was Sienna sleeping in our bedroom. A lot of my mum friends had done this quite a while ago and as Sienna got more and more stretched out in her crib I was quite keen to do it too. Stu however wasn’t so keen, saying he wanted to keep her as close to us for as long as possible.

At the time I didn’t understand but as a compromise we agreed to wait until we got back from holiday. On the day we got back from holiday, as promised, Stu set the baby monitor up for Sienna in her nursery and we were all set for her to sleep in her big girl bed. Seeing a tiny Sienna lying in her huge cot, suddenly, I was the one that felt nervous. What I don’t hear her cry? What if she falls out? What if she gets lonely? All very logical I know.

Thankfully, once I reasoned with myself that all these thoughts were ridiculous and went to bed for the first time in six months in a room without Sienna (15 if you include all the time she was in my belly) I was reminded of a lovely piece of our old life and enjoyed a random sense of freedom.

Luckily, Sienna seemed to enjoy it too as when I woke the next morning two minutes before she woke up (seriously do any other mums have that where you instinctively wake up a minute before they do?!) she was smiling away rolling around in her big girl cot. She then did start banging her head on the cot but thankfully still smiling…

I know that throughout Sienna’s life we are going to see lots more eras end, our maternity leave bubble, our morning pram walks together, our daily nursing chair fashion photo… but we will also see the start of lots new ones with first days at school, first Christmas lists, first tooth fairy visits…I just hope that whatever the era she will never be too big for a cuddle from mummy and daddy.